Being Married...

|I got married about 4 and a half months ago. This is not about the pros and cons of getting married.. i wouldnt want to give gyan about something i have just stepped into.. please.. no one is remotely qualified to do that.. 

This is more to do with the effect it has had on my life.. 

Trust me a marriage can have positive effects on your life.. Its a stage yes everyone must cross.

But i am particularly afraid of the direction my career has taken. 

I quit a job i wasnt particularly fond of.. but on the last day i did shed a tear.. i would miss that job.. and i hoped the job would miss me. 

Yesterday M1 and M2 were discussing about an acquaintance of theirs who took a sabbatical to give birth and take care of her new baby. they echoed one another's thoughts when the said "she's crazy, a year later when she returns she will have to compete with freshers who's knowledge bank will have expanded"

I felt a lump in my throat.. at a time when Idea 3G is coming out with ads that say "bache k vajah se job chodna old idea" will companies accept "shaadi k liye break liya" Come to think of it..  i am a housewife with no aim and a job that is the most unrewarding job that doesnt even pay! I've seen my mother do it and i know what she feels (now ie... ) 

Yes i have the opportunity to "discover myself" and all that jazz... 

I am on a book reading spree, I'm buying and devouring books actively, seems like flipkart.com is a sight I'm visiting most often; i started to make hand made cards - what initially started out as a project only for close relatives and friends became something I did randomly just for the heck of it to eventually something I am getting bored of; i learnt to bake cakes, so much so that mom says out of the blue today "make a cake, the ingredients are lying and going to get wasted!", are you serious, also i did try to bake a cake at my in-laws and it was a disaster, and that made me decide you know i just cant cook, no matter how much i scour the internet for recipes; i trek actively, pretty much every weekend now, plus the morning walks that i have begun to enjoy and also have bunked today, because the husband woke me up 20 mins later that i had asked him too ( hon don't take this personally, i gotta blame someone ;) ) ; i spend a lot of time with Kaitlyn, feeding and bathing her and putting her down for a nap, talking to her, making her laugh and occasionally cry, teaching her to do jig-saw puzzles, dancing and playing with her, thereby ensuring she doesn't forget me, i have this fear that she wont rememeber me, i never did get to spend enough time with her as a little girl, but now I'm glad to say I'm one of her favourite persons now.

Do all these activities justify not having a job and a career? Isn't this the life most youngsters would crave for?? Time at your leisure, to do anything at anytime?? Or is it better to have a job that you hate and can post hate messages about on fb, than to have no job at all?? 

I dont know.. only time will tell.

As of now.. I'm just confused as to whether i should be happy and enjoy my free time, or worry about the explanations i might need to give a year from now, explaining what i was so happy about..