That girl with the diamond earrings

That girl with her ardent cat likings

Her affection for their incessant purrings and meowings

Who hugs and plays and kisses inspite of their bitings

And yet never ceasing from her love and caressing

Their stealth and loyalty and beauty in her manifesting  

That girl with the diamond earrings

That girl with her artistic musings

Harbouring and preserving several complicated feelings

That girl with her love for arts and paintings

With a picture to depict her nature keen and observing

That girl with the diamond earrings

That girl who shrieks when she sees the sun rising

Who stares at it intently and can think of nothing

While describing the red and orange and yellow changing

That girl who stood mesmerized and mesmerizing

That girl with the diamond earrings

That girl who thinks of children and loving

Of no lover but only to love something

Of infinite and abundant giving and no with-holding

Of the future with, no doubt, severe doubting

That girl with the diamond earrings

That girl who is always thinking, imagining and dreaming

That girl who seldom sings but is always cooing and wooing

That girl who laughs while crying and weeps while rejoicing

That girl with a heart of gold, who sees a silver lining

That girl with a fetish for diamond earrings,

That girl with the diamond earrings!  

CLU club

The club welcomed me back today with the warmth of tears, theirs and mine, although i don't understand why cuz id never really left it! They welcomed me whole heartedly and made me feel like i was their long lost sister who's come to her senses and decided to stay with family !

A calm father stating insightfully and thoughtfully that i should ''pre occupy myself with something , anything , anywhichthing , in order to preserve my dignity'' after witnessing  a screaming shouting yelling pushing shoving mother spitting out obscenities is what rocketed me back into the CLU club - Confused, Lost and Useless persons club.

The CLU club can make you do odd things for a change they make you DO something. They make you weep warm salty uncomprehending tears, they make you storm out of the house ,silently though lest you draw attention to yourself , they make you read a book in a park , seduce you into eating junk , all this while vowing not go home till 9 pm , and then , then , then , wait for this , have your resolve weakened by a weak bladder ! Damn they never thought of this as a reason to comply with the enemies. But you think they'd be disappointed that you were being adamant on something ? I mean, come on, we do belong to the elite CLU club , aren't we supposed to give up easily? To surrender with the loser attitude that 'i can't take this anymore'! No one thought body functions could affect decision making capabilities this much !

But hey that's the beauty of this club , we members may succeed at failing everything else but failing to be adamant at bizarre self laid bets with really no one to bet with , that one thing we can't fail at !

I'm glad membership to this club is not limited and biased. Just about anyone can be members!

Hey! I know, we should have our own networking site like clubuk.com!! I'm sure we'd have more members than fb! I'm really eager to meet similar CLU folks like me. So until the dream of clubuk becomes a reality, CLU buddies out there, feel free to voice your opinion, your sorrows and all that stuff that qualifies you to be part of the club, right here anytime anyhow :p

Back on fb :D

O btw i reactivated my fb account...

The reason was the revelation of the "unsubscribe button" :D thanks to M1 and M2 :D together they expressed shock that an avid facebooker like me never knew the beauty and simplicity and the power of that button :D

Also the logic behind it is that my life's gonna be private now.. no posts on fb AT ALL... "like button" zindabad!!

Instead the blog is where I'm turning to.. i know no one is going to be reading this.. now even the husband can find time for it ;)

that way the goal is achieved.. I can be a loner even while being surrounded by people... 

Being Married...

|I got married about 4 and a half months ago. This is not about the pros and cons of getting married.. i wouldnt want to give gyan about something i have just stepped into.. please.. no one is remotely qualified to do that.. 

This is more to do with the effect it has had on my life.. 

Trust me a marriage can have positive effects on your life.. Its a stage yes everyone must cross.

But i am particularly afraid of the direction my career has taken. 

I quit a job i wasnt particularly fond of.. but on the last day i did shed a tear.. i would miss that job.. and i hoped the job would miss me. 

Yesterday M1 and M2 were discussing about an acquaintance of theirs who took a sabbatical to give birth and take care of her new baby. they echoed one another's thoughts when the said "she's crazy, a year later when she returns she will have to compete with freshers who's knowledge bank will have expanded"

I felt a lump in my throat.. at a time when Idea 3G is coming out with ads that say "bache k vajah se job chodna old idea" will companies accept "shaadi k liye break liya" Come to think of it..  i am a housewife with no aim and a job that is the most unrewarding job that doesnt even pay! I've seen my mother do it and i know what she feels (now ie... ) 

Yes i have the opportunity to "discover myself" and all that jazz... 

I am on a book reading spree, I'm buying and devouring books actively, seems like flipkart.com is a sight I'm visiting most often; i started to make hand made cards - what initially started out as a project only for close relatives and friends became something I did randomly just for the heck of it to eventually something I am getting bored of; i learnt to bake cakes, so much so that mom says out of the blue today "make a cake, the ingredients are lying and going to get wasted!", are you serious, also i did try to bake a cake at my in-laws and it was a disaster, and that made me decide you know i just cant cook, no matter how much i scour the internet for recipes; i trek actively, pretty much every weekend now, plus the morning walks that i have begun to enjoy and also have bunked today, because the husband woke me up 20 mins later that i had asked him too ( hon don't take this personally, i gotta blame someone ;) ) ; i spend a lot of time with Kaitlyn, feeding and bathing her and putting her down for a nap, talking to her, making her laugh and occasionally cry, teaching her to do jig-saw puzzles, dancing and playing with her, thereby ensuring she doesn't forget me, i have this fear that she wont rememeber me, i never did get to spend enough time with her as a little girl, but now I'm glad to say I'm one of her favourite persons now.

Do all these activities justify not having a job and a career? Isn't this the life most youngsters would crave for?? Time at your leisure, to do anything at anytime?? Or is it better to have a job that you hate and can post hate messages about on fb, than to have no job at all?? 

I dont know.. only time will tell.

As of now.. I'm just confused as to whether i should be happy and enjoy my free time, or worry about the explanations i might need to give a year from now, explaining what i was so happy about.. 

A walk to remember

So the husband calls me , all hyper excited to remind me that its been precisely a year since we've been talking to each other. Last year this time i was on a trek with my beloved friend M1 while simultaneously i was texting my would-be husband miles away . I still remember jostling around trying to text while i navigated stones on a forest trail. There are a lot of memories associated with that walk - like a screaming scared delicate darling , her unmentionbales all visible , the expletives reserved for her beloved resounding in the hills, and a lot of other things .

Today was another special walk. Went on a lovely walk with aforementioned M1. It was a freezing cold and sleepy mrng. To awake on a Sunday, after spending Saturday night updating M1 and being updated by M1 about the latest happenings in our lives, and go for this walk was thrilling.
After returning we hogged steaming hot upit and warmed up to some sweet chai. We promised to meet M2 and meet her is what we did.

A lovely walk on a lovely Sunday. What other memories would you want to make!

2011 and its highlights

I was checking out a few blogs and i noticed several folks had posted a highlight of their past year.. So i decided why not me too!! Here is a list of things that have occurred to me in 2011 that have been super super exciting.. It is neither in order of favorites nor in any chronological order. I penned down stuff that came to my mind first!

1. The biggest thing that happened to me this year was getting married!! I married an awesome dude - Windsor Stanley :) the love of my life ;) the one whom i fight with first and then make up with ;) so we had a grand wedding.. my parents are happy ...
2. Incidentally i also met him in 2011.. and decided to get married to him ;)
3. Been to Goa for the first time ever, that was pre-marriage ;) and now I've been there twice already.. for our honeymoon as well :D
4. Did an awesome trek with Mayuri to Bhimashankar... i cherished every moment of it.. both for the company and for the scenic beauty.. anytime i was sad i rememebered those moments..
5. i flew in an airplane for the first time ever.. :D with the husband.. incidentally when we were on our way to goa for our honeymoon
6. travelled for the first time in the AC coach of a train for the first time ever :D
7. started gymming actively before the wedding.. i lost about 6 kgs and never felt better in my life ;)
8. had ezra and mayuri over for my wedding at keelacheri.. vishak and kiran came too.. id forever be thankful to them for coming :)
9. Went on an exciting bike-ride to Pondicherri with W.. had a good two days there.. though it was marred by a cold war between us.. i still cherish that trip to the hilt
10. i visited coimbatore too. spent 3 days with Vishak and his mom.. had a lovely time there..
11. bathed in a river for the first time ever!! and after that i changed my clothes surrounded by nature and nothing else.. that was the freakiest moment in my life :D
12. Bought two lovely sarees from coimbatore . one that i wore for christmas and one for my mother in law.. she was most pleased.. also some tees for dad and my father in law.
13. Rode an avenger in Coimbatore!! .. the feeling rocked \m/
14. went to Delhi this year as well. though i missed seeing the Taj Mahal, i promised id come back there with W. i HAVE to see that place it HAS to be with him and no one else. i shopped in delhi. met some of my relatives i had never met before, made some lovely sweet friends...
15. the return jouney from Delhi was turning out to be bad.. with no confirmed tickets. But we were rewarded by getting to know some deaf and mute boys.. it was an absolute pleasure conversing with them.. we exchanged numbers and i'm still in touch with them :) also met vikas who's  a fun dude too :)
16. Windsor made me some delicious cheese pasta for our 100th day anniversary (or was it 50th??) :) wasn't that sweet ;) and we had some wine too :D in our cozy lil room
17. I wore a saree for the first time ever!! that too for my wedding :D it is the most glorious saree ever!!!! have worn the saree 4 5 times after that.. but I've realised its something i just cant wear!! so I've decided never more!! :-| and W is kind enough to not force me :D
18. made several hand made cards for relatives and close friends :) it was embroidery on paper :) i todally rock at it!!
19. Was lucky to make it to Kaitlyn's concert this year :D She was absolutely adorable :)
20. Baked my first cake ever that too in a pressure cooker :) it was yummy :D
21. Went several places with W in chennai in the short span that we were there together :) good memories there :)

ooh long list huh.. i do indeed have lots of reasons to be happy about :) 2011 was a roller coaster ride for me :) i loved every moment of it :) for the first time i remember good things that happened to me in a year.. there were tough times too.. but with a loving and sweet husband like W nothing seemed impossible :)

I hope 2012 is equally exciting or even more :)

Cheers!!!! 

Second day

So today was the second day of my walk. It was more of a jog. And i was surprised that i could keep up. Its been 4 months since I've actively worked out. I miss my gym. :( eventually i will join back.

One of the primary reasons why i started walking is to build my stamina. I realised it was declining. :p
I have a pretty decent stamina. Up until 4 months ago that is. I remember running during one of my treks with Mayuri :D that was fun and unbelievable to other trekkers we crossed :D
Two Sundays ago when i went  trekking to peb gad., at one particular steep climb i actually went dizzy. I was shocked! I've never been so exhausted to get dizzy. I realised i have to start working out again !
Next Sunday I'm off to another trek. All this is in partial preparation for that :)
So good luck to me :)

does the place matter??

We embarked tentatively, dad and me, on this journey down south.
Several times during this day i wondered how many times would i make this journey?? this long tedious journey to a completely different place all because marriage has created a bond for me. How many times would i travel alone or with someone in my (hopefully) long life to come. I then wondered about the criteria for a  marriage to be fixed, whether the place of residence mattered. I wondered how easy it would be if my in laws lived merely 50 odd km away,
I thought of my sister in law. Her parents live in the same colony!! so it is for my husband's sister! are they incredibly lucky or what!! now i understood the reactions of people when they heard my husband is from chennai! i cant really blame him :) i mean its pretty unfair to reject someone purely because they live far away. its a dicey situation. it needs to be tread with caution.. no??

As of now im just glad to be home.. in my lazy cold home.. :) 

My renewed existance

I have no idea why I am here today after ages. Ok maybe I do know.. I am not facebook! After about 4 years of being so social.. of never being able to stay away from fb, of making it possible to access it even when I am mobile through my smart phone.. i decided yesterday on an impulse to deactivate my account. Its the first time EVER. i have stayed away in the past but NEVER deactivated my account.
It was an impulse, for all you know i may reactivate it today itself. But i am in such a melancholic mood, i have absolutely no wish! I have no desire. I wish to vanish.. not speak or communicate.. to become an illusion.

Yesterday also an impulse i decided to start on an early morning walk. It is probably sparked and fuelled by the fact that my in laws say I've put on weight. Its something i just cannot bear! after working so hard pre marriage to only put it on because of my weakness for junk. I have got to get back to the way i was pre marriage.

SO inspite of an exhaustive travel yesterday from chennai, i kept the alarm for 5.30 am. and surprisingly i woke up! it was a relief.
6 am, durga tekdi, the biting cold, loneliness! PERFECT. No phone as well. Not carrying the phone was because i did not want to contaminate my nature's walk with technology. for that reason there was no music buzzing in my ears as well.

Durga Tekdi - the place where i have been as an innocent child, a naughty teenager and now a been-there-done-that married woman, ive been there with different intentions, but today here now, all i could think was to reach the top, revel in the tranquility. And it was splendid. the moon was still high up in the sky.. the sun hadnt risen then.,, the sight of the city below, its lights glowing like little glow worms in the dark.. the sparse crowd... this was what i had come for...

This short walk was rewarding, though not at the tekdi, but rather as i approached home. I gasped out loud as I saw the rising sun after ages, hiding among the trees and the buildings, granting only sneek peeks. Resplendant! Rising! Rejoicing! Red! like the red bindi i sport as a young married Indian woman. What a coincidence. What a way for the sun to welcome me back to the real world. to the world away from facebook (though it was world i also loved)

My husband asked me yesterday all concerned - if there's no fb what are you going to do??!!!! i had no idea then. Now? maybe i do. i think maybe i will live. without supplements to my existance...


PS - im still connected to the online world eh.. via my blog .. i know! hardly a day and looks like i found a new addiction already ;)